Forgiveness has to be one of the hardest things to do. In short, to forgive someone, you have to relinquish any anger or resentment,without punishment, you may hold towards that person (or even yourself) as a result of an offence or mistake made by them.
Ten years ago my dad killed my mother in front of myself and my two brothers. Forgiving him for that has been one of the hardest things I've had to do. Sometimes I even question if I really have? It's certainly never forgotten about.
Some people, usually people that don't know me very well personally, often find it strange that I could forgive my dad for committing such a crime. The way I see it is this; I have two parents and one of them has been taken away from me. There are 1000's of children out there desperate just to have one parent so why don't I make the most of the one I have left? It also helps to tell you that my dad was classed as 'insane' at the time of the murder and has no memory of committing the crime. In fact, he's been very remorseful since it happened and has done everything any 'normal' working man could to try and bring his family (his sons) back together.
At first it was extremely hard, it was almost two years before I spoke to him after the crime and I'm not 100% sure why I'd changed my mind. Something just clicked in my head I guess. I had the choice to either go on living with the family I wasn't especially fond of, or do something about the one I loved and missed.
As years went on I saw more and more of my dad, and in more recent years I even took a job at his gardening/landscaping business. HELL! Things were back to how they'd always been. We argued, about trivial things, like cat and dog so needless to say that didn't last longer than 6 months.
We have a pretty decent relationship now. He lives no more than 90 minutes up the road and we see each other when we can. I still question myself sometimes though. Have I truly forgiven him for what he's done and if so, does he deserve forgiveness?
Tay Tay :-)
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